I set all of my blogs so that I can email posts. I thought that might make it easier when I want to post pictures from my phone. I can at least START a post on my phone, then tidy it up and post from gmail on the laptop.
I’ve started new blog posts almost every day for the past two weeks. But they don’t go where I want them to go, and they all say the same things I’ve said before, and I delete them.
I decided to give myself until the end of January to finalize my goals for this year. It’s almost ALL stuff that will take a few years to really establish, and I want to know that my first steps are really going to be effective. That actually, in real life, translates to “I’m avoiding thinking.” Last week it was super cold and the kids were WILD. This week Brennan is sick.
I HAVE been able to spend more time reading in my Bible, though. I’ve tried to do that instead of flailing for what I should be doing. For the past few weeks, I feel like there’s too much coming at me (things like finding lotion slathered on Brennan’s Merida doll) and too much that COULD be done (Hello: the floor is ALWAYS dirty and there is ALWAYS laundry). I’ve lost focus, I’ve lost motivation; I’m simply swimming in “What next?”
But spending time reading the Bible – without trying to study;¬†just reading,¬†and giving myself room to not remember¬†everything or not have everything make sense immediately – has helped soothe the “NOTHING I PICK IS RIGHT!” feeling. I’ve noticed things I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. When verses or words jump out at me, I jot them down. I am beginning to feel better. I don’t feel so trapped in a relentless spiral of housework. There’s more to life than fighting to keep the floor clean!
I’ve posted twice this month at TendingBabylon about verses I’ve found that have challenged or encouraged me. I haven’t had the mental energy to really flesh out the ideas, but it’s been nice to share.
What’s going on with you???